Drink Lagos: The Lagoon

 

The Lagoon, known to everyone as “Churrascos”, is a combination of so many things. 

Brazilian. 

Japanese. 

Mexican. 

Indian.

A lot of things, really.  For the longest time, it was THE spot. It takes its name "The Lagoon" literally, as we’re reminded how much water Lagos sits on. My friend and I chose to drink by the water rather than the bar because the view was spectacular.

 A view

A view

The prices on the menu were written with a blue pen, which ruined the "packaging". The menu was all over the place and that made locating what to order an utter mess. Anyway, we went with the Black Russian and Bitchy Witch. Our drinks came in a random beer tumbler. I haven’t seen cocktails served in a more boring way. 

When we slyly asked the waiter what the Black Russian was about he said, “...it’s a black cup that carries the Black Russian”. We burst out laughing because this was another red flag that maybe we chose the wrong place to drink. 

 Black Russian

Black Russian

The Black Russian is a cocktail that is predominantly five parts vodka to two parts coffee liqueur and usually served in an old-fashioned glass. I prefer mine served in this glass because its shorter — therefore stronger. There are a couple of issues with serving a Black Russian in a giant tumbler; the alcohol and coffee liqueur isn’t as concentrated, it starts to taste bland as the ice melts and at some point you wonder if you ordered a diluted coke. 

 Not enough vodka, melted ice and too much coke

Not enough vodka, melted ice and too much coke

Unfortunately, our drink didn’t meet the standard of a Black Russian — not enough vodka, melted ice and too much coke. Ruining a Black Russian is a sign that perhaps your mixologists have no business with alcohol, it’s such a simple drink to make!

The menu had a lot of weird names like Comfortable Fuzzy Screw Up Against the Wall with a Kiss. That’s what happens when you spend the time you’re supposed to learn to make great cocktails coining dead names for bleh drinks. 

 Bitchy Witch

Bitchy Witch

Made with drink with gin, vodka, peach schnapps, lemon juice, cranberry juice and bitter lemon, the Bitchy Witch is a Lagoon-special. Quite disappointing for witches and bitches because the mixologist at The Lagoon doesn’t rate either.

Minus the medicine-like aftertaste; it was not a memorable drink as it resets every 10 seconds after your last sip. I battled to drink it fast because I didn't want to end up with a diluted mess, which I unfortunately still ended up with. There was no buzz, just confusion as I wondered what was in this drink.

Maybe things would have been different if we sat by the bar.

 No buzz, just confusion 

No buzz, just confusion 

The Lagoon is a beautiful place with impeccable scenery and while we moaned about the alcohol, the kitchen seemed quite busy with people having more food than ‘cocktails’. Be mindful about customer service though. Especially if you’re not a white male because the chances of these waiters treating you right is determined by your identity despite the 20% service charge that is imposed on you.


Christina is a TV and Film junkie who also spends an incredible amount of time reviewing skincare products she can barely afford.

TL:DR

Good for: Brunch - Pre-Drinks – Groups

Food: Full Kitchen

Happy Hour: No | Bottle Service: Yes | Wine: Yes | Beer: Yes

 

DAMAGE

Black Russian - N3000

Bitchy Witch - N3000