I first heard about The SIG when some church folk were looking for a restaurant large enough to host a group of over 50. Apparently, the restaurant had more than enough space and was keen on offering affordable deals for large groups. We didn't end up going there, but The SIG had already piqued my interest so I paid a visit with my IJGB sister.

I had made a reservation a couple days leading up to the visit, but based on how sparsely occupied it was when we got there, I don’t think it was necessary tbh. In fact, aside from the staff, the large interior space was nearly empty. According to The SIG's Instagram profile, their opening time is 10AM, so I was very confused by the fact that the staff were still setting up by 2PM on a Sunday. I later learnt that they were just wrapping up the cleaning from a water outbreak that occurred the previous night, so I gave them some grace in that regard.

My sister and I sat down at a table for two by the window, which I had chosen because of the lighting. But get this, the waiter asked us if we could move because that was apparently where their boss usually sat. He didn't ask in a rude way or anything, but the very fact that he asked us was completely unnecessary and weird. One would think customers came first. We weren't in the mood to drag anything with anybody, so we moved sha.

We wound up in the small outdoor space, which was actually better for the time being as it wasn't consumed by the smell of cleaning supplies. We were very indecisive about what we wanted for our main courses so we just ordered our drinks, a Mojito for me and a Long Island Iced Tea for my sister. We also shared a starter, Gizdodo to begin. The drinks came within 15 minutes while we had to wait another 15 minutes for the starter.

The presentation of both drinks wasn't very appealing. The Long Island didn't have the characteristic iced tea colour even after it was stirred while the Mojito was saturated with mint leaves. They also did not taste any better than they looked. My sister said her Long Island was so bitter, courtesy of the TWO whole lime slices in it. She said it reminded her of Agbo Jedi - the native medicinal drinks our parents made us drink as children. Last I checked, Long Islands are supposed to have a slight lemon tang, not the overpowering bitterness of limes. It was also more watery than boozy. As for my Mojito, I don’t know whether the mixologist forgot to add sugar to it because the sweetness was nowhere to be found. I also couldn’t go more than halfway through it because I got tired of ingesting the leaves, but it was a good level of boozy and had a noticeable lime tang.

The bowl of Gizdodo was a lot smaller than I expected for the tall price of N7,500, but I was excited to try it nonetheless. The plantain slices were crisp but soft, just the way I like them. However, the gizzard bits were chewier than I would have liked. The moderately spicy pepper sauce the plantains and gizzard were cooked in, though a tad too salty in some parts, was fingerlicking-delicious. No, seriously, my sister scraped the sauce off the plate. The crisp, fresh slices of bell pepper also enhanced the flavour of the dish. Overall, it was a really enjoyable dish and I wish we could have had more, but churning out another N7,500 for that small bowl just didn’t make sense to us.

Then came the battle for our main courses. Initially, my sister, who was understandably craving proper Nigerian cuisine, wanted Seafood Okro while I wanted their SIG Burger with Fries. But we were told none of those were available, so she ordered Efo Riro while I ordered Chicken Escalope with Mashed Potatoes. The waiter then returned some minutes later to advise me to order something else as the Chicken Escalope would apparently take forever to make. So, I opted for The Sig Party Jollof Rice with Snail, but even the snail wasn’t available so I settled for chicken. If you can’t tell already, this entire ordering process alone was frustrating. The menu had a range of meals from local and continental cuisines, but at the end of the day, only the local meals were readily available. The waiter apologetically explained that they had hosted multiple events the previous day, so they were just restocking a lot of their ingredients, but it still didn’t make sense to me that they were that unprepared for a period as busy as Sunday brunch hour.

Our main courses finally got to us nearly an hour after we first tried to place our orders. We had moved back inside since the low tables outside weren’t really convenient for eating. At this point, there was a birthday party of about 20 people going on in one corner of the restaurant and there was no power supply for nearly half an hour, so I couldn’t even get good pictures of the food. Sha, I tried to put all the disappointment aside and dig into the meal with a fresh tongue. The Jollof rice was proper smokey, savoury and even slightly sweet. The addition of not-too-chewy gizzard chunks and fresh veggies was much appreciated. The sizable stewed chicken pieces had crunchy skin but were succulent on the inside. The chicken was tasty, with a herby undertone, but I felt like the flavour didn’t really go in — a problem that could have been fixed by marinating it for longer. I wasn’t a fan of the salad on the side as the dressing tasted like it was near bad, or maybe it was just too sour.

My sister’s Efo Riro was Yoruba-level spicy and super delicious. The veggies were fresh but very soft, which might not be ideal for people who like a little crunch in their vegetable soup, but I didn’t mind at all. The Poundo was really soft and smooth. Our only grouch with the soup was that it only had one ‘life’. At that price (N7,500), we were expecting some elemi meje (7 lives) stuff with a wide variety of proteins, but all we got were the pieces of goat meat, albeit succulent.

Since the main dishes had pacified us, we thought the worst had passed, but The SIG said, “Hold my beer!”. It took over an hour and multiple reminders to get my dessert, a simple plate of ice cream and waffles, and our extra side of peppered fish. The waffle was way too hard as it was a struggle to cut into it, and it wasn’t sweet or flavourful in the slightest. The ice cream was another flop; it wasn’t creamy enough and it had a gritty texture, like it had gone through several cycles of freezing and defrosting. Plus, I could not stand the sprinkles or weird-tasting sauce.

We asked them to pack the fish to go because we were TIRED. When we eventually tasted it at home, it was an underwhelming experience. I mean, it was tasty and the spices actually went in, but it didn’t particularly blow our minds so it wasn’t a satisfying end to all our suffering.

POSTSCRIPT

I don’t know if I just caught The SIG on a bad day. The food was good for the most part but between the poor cocktails, the terribly long wait, their unpreparedness and general chaos, they’ll probably never see me again.

Verdict

PARKING

Should take at least 20 cars.

DAMAGE

Long Island Iced Tea - N7,000

Mojito- N7,000

The Sig Gizdodo- N7,500

Efo Riro - N7,500

The Sig Party Jollof with Chicken - N9,000

Ice Cream with waffles - N5,500

Water - N800

Peppered Fish - N5,000

Takeaway- N500

(No extra charges)

Review: The SIG (Victoria Island)

POSTSCRIPT

Verdict

PARKING

DAMAGE

Hump Day Lunch: El Padrino

Hump Day Lunch: Beezus Kitchen