EDL Weekender: Spreads Everywhere

Very short week thanks to our Muslim brothers, but no watch party today because we still work for The Man. If we win though, expect one next week. 

 

Weekender!

Spotify version of the playlist HERE

 

EAT

Spreads by Heels In The Kitchen

In the spirit of supporting our faves, we thought we'd share a little something new from Chef Imoteda and Heels in the Kitchen.

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You'll need to place your orders two days in advance. We deliver! Call 08188689274 or email info@hitkitchen.com

 

Sunday Roast Club

 

LAGOS

Watch Nigeria take on Iceland at NOK

If you’re getting off work early and/or don’t want to stream on company internet, NOK is hosting a watch party for the Iceland game. After the Argentina loss last night, we NEED this win. Go Super Eagles!

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Budweiser Light Up Parties

Join Budweiser as they #LightUpTheWorldCup with awesome parties around Lagos. Come grab a bottle of Bud and watch the game

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788 On The Sea, a Worthy Ocean Basket Challenger?
 

NOSA: It’s a bit of a coincidence that as soon as we complain about the lack of seafood options in Lagos, a seafood spot crawls into our radar. Definitely not complaining. The more, the merrier. 

FOLLY: We still need some more though, so I hope this 'complaint' brings even more.

NOSA: 788 On The Sea is the newest addition to that Twin Waters complex. Mildly related: that part of Lekki, or is it Oniru, is developing at an unreal rate. In a year or two, it should be as “built up” as main Lekki. 

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FOLLY: I doubt because that market is a main obstruction to the gentrification.

NOSA: It’s so cute how the waiters at 788 all wore the same thing. Down to the shoes. The tailor that got the contract definitely hit the jackpot. 

FOLLY: Unlike whomever has the NYSC contract.

NOSA: To start, we got the Prawn Bruschetta. And like most of our bruschetta experiences in Lagos, the bread was stale-ish. Definitely not fresh, that’s for sure. Texture was a lot like toast that had been out for a while. Particularly ironic because on the menu, it’s described as “…prawns in creamy house sauce served on CRUNCHY bread”. Not a single crunch in sight. A bit of a shame because the house sauce was super delicious. 

FOLLY: I disagree with Nosa here and I believe the lack of crunch was due to the bread getting rapidly soggy because of the moisture in the topping - it was absorbed rather quickly. I didn't like the prawn topping at all, it was cold and there's few things I dislike more than cold prawn appetizers.

NOSA: Nah, I've had cold appetizers on toast that have not been soggy. That can't be it. 

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For my main, I got the Mixed Seafood Platter like a proper greedy bastard. Lobster, mussels, calamari, prawn, and lobster all on the plate. 

You might think this a lot, but this isn’t as much to the one we got at The Rock in Zanzibar. I don’t think I ate seafood for like a month after that trip. I digress.

 This is easily the most extensive seafood platter in Lagos. There isn’t a single restaurant that comes close. 

FOLLY: At least that we've been to, and we've been to a lot. If you have one that offers a more diverse platter please email me. 

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NOSA: The calamari and lobster were especially delicious. The prawn didn’t wow me, however, but that might be a personal thing.

FOLLY: It has a lot to do with the fact that prawns tend to be overcooked alot and so dry out faster and then have no flavour. However, the protective shell of the lobster forms a defence against Nigerians that like to overcook things. That said, in reference to the particular experience at 788, the lobster was just better flavoured lots of buttery goodness on the lobster while the prawn was mostly dry. 

NOSA: There needs to be a discussion about how underrated lobster is. Prawn gets all the talk, but on the low, lobster is the most elite of all the sea animals, for lack of a better term. 

FOLLY: Elite is probably the best term. It's also so much more convenient to eat than crab.

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NOSA: On a second thought, lobster might not be underrated. It’s out of everyone’s budget. Yeah, I take that back. Still delicious though.

FOLLY: Crab is the biggest inconvenience ever. If it's not shell-off crab meat, I don't want it.

NOSA: I wasn’t a fan of the crab either. Not only was it tedious to eat, there was little, if anything, to eat. As a garnish on the plate, it does an exceptional job.

All of this said, the seafood platter isn’t really worth it. It looks like a lot, but it’s really not a large enough portion to share. The crab just takes up all of the space and there are better ways to spend your 20k.

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FOLLY: I also got the salmon as my main. I was expecting a much bigger cut and instead I got a sliver. The salmon itself was overcooked but it was fine. I ordered scallopped potatoes but received herb roasted potatoes - they were delicious even though the wrong thing. 

NOSA: The salmon is a tad more expensive than the one at Noir and at that price, the ketchup thing is a little too basic. 

FOLLY: I really hope that was done by an over ethusiastic kitchen assistant and not the norm for 788 because serving ketchup with salmon is pretty damn pedestrian. 

POSTSCRIPT

NOSA: Ocean basket finally has a challenger, albeit an expensive one.

FOLLY: I'd go with my parents - if they are paying

NOSA: I wouldn’t get the platter again though. 

VERDICT

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DAMAGE

Prawn Bruschetta - N4800 

Scalloped Potatoes - N1800

Grilled Salmon Caviar - N16500

Mixed Seafood Platter - N20000

 

PARKING

The Twin Waters complex has sufficient parking. 

Taste Test: Bottles Pizza
 

NOSA: In our Bottles review, we mentioned the addition of pizza to the menu. A restaurant specializing in Tex Mex fare suddenly adding pizza to its menu is probably one of the weirder things we’ve encountered in Lagos.  Not the weirdest though, that one belongs to the Tex Mex spot at Ikeja City Mall with Efo Riro on the menu. That one will never not be funny. 

FOLLY: Word is Bottles built a proper wood-fired oven to go with it too.

NOSA: Adding pizza to the menu is definitely weird, but I’m not going to lie and say Bottles hasn’t been thorough about it. The pizza selection isn’t boring, on paper, and they deliver too.  The Pesto Pizza, in particular, looks very interesting. 

NOSA: For our little experiment, we went with the Parma & Rocket Pizza. The rocket wasn’t really rocket. At my big age, I think I should know what rocket is. What’s on the pizza is actually a baby spinach. It looked and tasted like it. I know my vegetables, fam.

FOLLY: Nosa doesn't eat fruit but he makes up for it in vegetables. I guess that's a good thing. Anyway, yes he is right definitely spinach and not rocket. 

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NOSA: They did warn that everything on the menu was subject to availability of ingredients, but it would’ve been nice if we were warned ahead of them bringing the actual pizza. I mean, look at the rocket on Sabor’s Surf & Turf Flatbread and how they use real rocket. 

 SABOR

SABOR

 Bottles

Bottles

FOLLY: The parma ham was okay but cutting it up in squares would have been better than spreading uncut atop the slices and thus creating a logistical challenge . 

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NOSA: As you’ve probably gauged by now, Bottles leans towards the thin crust wood-fired style like Pizze-riah and La Taverna.

FOLLY: While we're comparing, the quantity of parma ham was a little bit less than you'd get on a pizza at either of the aforementioned places.

NOSA: Yeah, unlike the aforementioned two, our pizza wasn’t also particularly fresh. The limited “cheesiness” hinted at it, but the crust gave it away. 

FOLLY: I also wasn't particularly impressed by the quality and quantity of cheese on this pizza. The base tomato sauce was more prevalent than the cheese was.

NOSA: It tasted like it was made some hours earlier and just heated up before it was served to us. Thin crust pizzas don’t really “keep” well. If it’s not eaten fresh, it’ll expose many a pizza parlor. The crust quickly turns stiff. If you’ve eaten a day old baguette, you should be familiar with how it hardens. With a thin crust pizza, it’s like eating a biscuit.

POSTSCRIPT

NOSA: It such a shame because Bottles has clearly put a lot into this pizza thing happen and such rookie errors should not occur. It’s an easy fix though and I do hope they fix it. 

FOLLY: Or maybe we caught them on a bad day? Or maybe they should just maintain their focus on Tex-Mex? If you've tried it can you let us know your experience?

Drink Lagos: Sailors Lounge
 

We arrived Sailors at about 5:15pm, the sky was pretty lit and the live band wasn’t out yet, thank goodness. It was relaxing until it was time to find where to sit. The waitresses were having a hard time letting us sit where we wanted because they felt we were ruining their sitting arrangement. It was ultimately a group of mean girls screaming at our own waitress to halt and move us somewhere else. So unprofessional. What’s wrong with calling her aside and not making a scene? Ugh.  

 Safe Sex on the Beach

Safe Sex on the Beach

Moving on, we ordered the Safe Sex on the Beach - a mocktail with orange juice, cranberry and peach syrup. 

Fun Fact: If the name didn’t give it away, this is the virgin version of Sex on the Beach

Sailor’s take on it lacked the maraschino cherries and grapefruit juice. Perhaps that what happens when you live in this part of the world, everything is usually a substitute of something. 

(Ed note: Blame Buhari)

It makes sense to switch the grapefruit with orange juice because they both have a citrus-y base and for a hack, it did a good job mimicking the typical recipe. It was icy, soothing and sweet like summer. 

Campari has been showing up a lot in drink menus and so we went for it on the next drink. Blood Orange, made with vodka, Campari, fresh orange and pineapple Cointreau. 

 Bloody Orange

Bloody Orange

Maybe it’s just me but I always thought this cocktail used actual blood oranges and not just orange juice. If you ever come across a menu that has Blood Orange Gin and Tonic go all out, that used to be my therapy in Shoreditch. Sailor’s Blood Orange was quite good and ridiculously strong, I guess that’s the point. 

However, if you like your taste buds you might want to skip this. It wasn’t as bitter as I expected because of the pineapple infused Cointreau and fresh oranges. I’ve noticed Campari is best paired with citric notes for tolerance, that’s probably why Fanta and Campari are excellent partners. The acidity lifts the bitterness.

Just before the live band decided to interrupt this wonderful evening we closed with the Drunken Sailors; a five white house spirit and Sailors’ secret ingredient lol. 

 Drunken Sailors

Drunken Sailors

I could taste rum, tequila, vodka, gin and a lot of ginger, that’s it! I couldn’t figure out the rest and this is easily one of the strongest cocktails I’ve had in my Drink Lagos adventures. It came with a warning – a shot glass. Apparently, anytime you feel like taking a drink you’d have to take an entire shot and maybe having this on Sunday night before work wasn’t a great idea. 

Was it worth it? 

Perhaps.

I have a problem with beautiful spaces and bad smells, Lagos does this to you a lot of the time. I am yet to see a waterfront without that ridiculous smell of death. Then there’s plastic waltzing around the water and the flies being absolutely disrespectful. Despite all these shortcomings, Sailors is still in business. Perhaps due to a market that cares majorly about escapism than aesthetics. 

(Ed note: Not sure about “escapism”. That’s what they like in Lekki. It’s their spec)


Christina is a TV and Film junkie who also spends an incredible amount of time reviewing skincare products she can barely afford.

TL:DR

Good for: After work drinks - Pre drinks

Food: Full Kitchen

Happy Hour: No | Bottle Service: Yes | Wine: Yes | Beer: Yes

 

DAMAGE

Safe Sex on the Beach - N2000

Blood Orange - N3500

Drunken Sailor - N4000

Stout Wars: Guinness v Legend

FOLLY: A few weeks ago Nosa put out a joke about Legend being the drink of choice for armed robbers and Twitter NG got upset. 

NOSA: I said what I said. 

FOLLY: The responses ranged from the handler of this account needs to be fired, a brand can't come for another brand, and that we'd just lost ourselves an endorsement from Legend. The last one made me howl. 

NOSA: Look, if you’re a discerning drinker, it’s even a thing to be discussed. If you like your stouts, there’s no way you can like Legend. It’s way too light and is not as creamy as the old Legend ads suggested it would be. 

FOLLY: I really enjoy making our Taste Test videos so all the engagement gave me the idea for this one. It also gave us a chance to reshoot a stout video because we'd previously shot one last year but the footage was unusable due to sound issues. You might have noticed our video equipment has improved significantly since then. I disgress, 

We rounded a few friends of the blog who don't normally drink stout to get their novice opinion on the drink. We first asked them if they could tell the difference from looking or smelling, then they placed their guesses. Next, they tasted blind and then they re-confirmed their guesses. 

FOLLY: Oddly enough, most people like the supposed drink of choice for armed robbers. Will Nosa have to redact his tweet....

NOSA: Well, they’re wrong and I’m right.  Only the non-stout drinkers liked Legend and that’s because Legend tries it’s hardest to not be a decent stout.