Much Ado About Salt

You ever witness something and go “Ahan, small play? And you’re already vexing.”

That’s how I felt when I heard an irate customer visited the Salt Lagos with MOPOL (Mobile Police, for the uninitiated). Nigerians doing the absolute most is never not funny, but like for everything, there’s a line, and I think pulling up on Salt Lagos with MOPOL might be a step ahead of the line.

According to Salt Lagos, a customer ordered a cake for her friend and wasn’t too pleased with the design. In the customer’s defence, Salt Lagos is absolutely terrible at decorating cakes. A toddler might be better fit for the job sometimes.

 
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PART ONE . . Today, I had a chilling and heart wrenching experience with a customer, Eniola Falowo @sheba_xx and I am still shaken by it. It was scary because my infant child comes down from the car, and in front of him is an uninvited armed mobile policeman, who was brought by a customer with the intention of threatening Salt Lagos. With everything going on in the country, especially the man who was accidentally killed by a SARS officer my first instinct was to get my child inside for safety. This customer had put it on her instagram story that she was going to Salt Lagos with a mobile police man, because she was dissatisfied with the design of her cake. (Pictures above) Her friend placed the order on her behalf, and had called us that she didn’t like the design of the cake. We asked her to send a picture to enable us offer a solution. Her response was not received till 7:23 p.m. on Saturday, 30 March 2019, by which time we had closed. This morning, as soon as we resumed, an email was sent apologising for the displeasure. We also called the customer who placed the order and she asked that the cake be redecorated which we agreed to do. The customer later called asking for a new cake or a refund. To which we responded that the issue with the cake was the design and we had agreed to redesign it. Later on, our notice was drawn to several insta stories about this issue by someone we didn’t know. Immediately, we responded. We apologised, explained that we had spoken to the person who placed the order and offered to send a new cake. To my utter dismay, upon my return to the kitchen with my son, I was met with an armed police man and two ladies.#saltlagos

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As any business with good customer care should do, Salt proffered a solution; she sent an email apologising and also agreed to redecorate the cake. This is where the details become unclear because the other side says Salt Lagos went AWOL for three days before a response came through.

Anyway, the obviously unsatisfied customer asked for a refund but Salt offered to redesign the cake since the dissatisfaction was with the design.

(Ed. note: Ok, maybe bringing MOPOL was justified)

This is where I think the customer crossed the line. The customer, accompanied by a MOPOL officer, went to Salt’s physical space to get a refund.

*Cue: Ahan! Small play? *

 
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PART TWO . . The first thing the lady said was that she wanted a refund, to which I responded that it wasn’t a problem. Immediately, the sum of N29,000.00 (Twenty Nine Thousand Naira only) was transferred to her. The mobile police subsequently asked if she had received the credit alert, to which she responded in the negative. I immediately did a 2nd transfer in the same sum from my personal account. She has received both payments and refunded the excess. I also had a chat with her about the whole situation and I believe there was preconceived notion and miscommunication. Upon enquiry, she stated that the mobile police man was attached to her, which I found hard to believe as she already posted on Instagram her intention to harass/threaten Salt Lagos. Upon her departure, the policeman was allegedly thanked for his services. Her friends have also called our company a fraud and a scam to which we take serious exception to. I can take anything, but I would not tolerate any endangerment of my family or staff. As far I was concerned, the issue was resolved once the customer and I agreed to a new cake. Please note that service providers are human beings too and where expectations are not met, physical threats is not the answer; Especially when we are all talking about police brutality, women supporting women and helping small businesses. I am still shaken, but will get over it. I just needed to share our story and clarify. #saltlagos

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It’s quite normal to get into spats; as a customer or as a vendor. Human beings can be difficult and Nigerians’ inborn wahala make it even more difficult. However, it makes me quite uncomfortable that a Nigerian who is (most likely) aware of how trigger-happy these law enforcement agents are would think it was a good idea to do that. 

From her end, she probably felt like she’d been scammed, which is fair. Her camp took to instagram to urge us to not patronise Salt Lagos and called the business fraudulent. 

Yikes.

(Ed. note: It’ll take more than ugly cake to get Salt out of here)

Last I heard, Salt has taken legal action and the customer has taken down all the posts, taken the social account private and apologised to Salt Lagos. It’s a bit hilarious that she had to apologise but Salt sic-ed all the Nigerian vendors on her so I guess she was forced to back down. The PR offensive afterward was also very funny to watch.

Remind me to never offend Salt on the internet. 

Personally, I believe that if you have a problem with the way a vendor executes an order, there are so many ways to handle it and calling the police should the last option. I mean, the Nigerian police; who are aggressive and never held accountable for taking innocent lives. But then again, if someone is moving mad, you might have to respond equally.

Moral of the story: if you want a nice looking cake, just order Sweetspot or Livvy’s Twist.

Other things on the internet

  • Millennials are drinking less beer. So beer is becoming more like juice [Vox]

  • Public Health France and the National Institute of Cancer announced a national campaign to get people to drink just two glasses per day—and not every day [France24]

  • Kwame Onwuachi’s memoir, “Notes From a Young Black Chef,” reveals kitchen abuse at Per Se [Eater]

  • New EU Regulations Could Mean Calling Meat-Free Burgers ‘Veggie Discs’ [Munchies]

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