Posts tagged oniru
Adrenaline Sports Bar Flatters to Deceive

Adrenaline Sports Bar

Plot 9/10 Block 2, Oniru Estate, Victoria Island, Lagos.

01 448 9444

FOLLY: I first heard about this place a couple of years ago, when one of my guy friends moved back to Lagos and he was really into Adrenaline. That was until they broke his window when he was parked outside and stole his laptop; I don't think he's ever been back since. I also immediately lost all interest following that incident because in the evening it's hard to get a parking space inside Four Points.

NOSA: I have an immense unexplainable hatred for Four Points. From the point you have to pop your hood for security to getting through the metal detector at the entrance to not finding a power outlet in the lobby because it's for guests only, I hate everything.

FOLLY: I also feel like Adrenaline is also a little secret for those who are regulars because I don't think many people know it and there's also not too much noise on it. 

NOSA: I think people know, but Four Points is just too stressful of an establishment

FOLLY: I liked the decor at Adrenaline, particularly the dark wood. I wasn't a fan of the low chairs are and the tiny tables, however. 

NOSA: In its defense, it's a proper sports bar in every sense.

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FOLLY: I was trying to be a rebel and I ordered a concoction cocktail listed on their menu. It's called the Seven Step and it had in it: gin, vodka, tequila, rum, Cointreau, creme de cassis and white wine. 

You read that right, 7 types of alcohol and no mixer. I should kuku have drank rat poison since I wanted to die. I honestly thought the white wine would function as a mixer and make it drinkable but boy was I wrong.

NOSA: Because you definitely need to order it when you find out Mourinho dropped Martial for another senseless reason.

FOLLY: After exactly two sips, I ordered a sprite and diluted this drink and it became awesome. It's a lot stronger than a Long Island and if you're ever trying to get drunk very very quickly, this is the ONE.

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FOLLY: To eat I ordered the Famous Full House (aka the house special burger) which when it arrived looked like one of those burgers I see on food porn Instagram pages. I was very excited because we've been doing this for 2 plus years and little did I know I could find one of those burgers in little old Lagos. 

NOSA: This is definitely the best looking worst burger in Lagos

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FOLLY: Sadly, the burger looked much better than it tasted. The sum of the whole wasn't great so I'll break it down to its parts. The onion rings and the patty were a bit bland, and the patty in particular, was very dry. 

NOSA: The onion rings were really soggy and the patty smelt off.

FOLLY: I liked the bacon and the bun, and I felt they should have grilled the mushrooms instead and had a little bit more cheese. 

NOSA: Yeah, the mushrooms were straight from a can.

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FOLLY: They definitely forgot Nosa's fish on the fire. 

NOSA: For a second, I thought it came out looking like that by design, but nope, they burnt it.

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NOSA: The plating left a lot to be desired, but on a scale of important things, I think that's at the bottom. There were more important things at play here, like the fact the fish was BURNT again.

 

POSTSCRIPT

FOLLY: A nice place to grab a drink with friends. Their food is not amazing but it's good for what it is. 

NOSA: It's the sports bar equivalent of putting lipstck on a pig

VERDICT

DAMAGE

Seven Step - N3000

Fish & Chips - N6500

Famous Full House - N6000

 

PARKING

There's parking inside and outside, but be advised that parking outside is at your own risk.

Hotel Brunches: Four Points by Sheraton

Four Points by Sheraton

Plot 9/10 Block 2, Oniru Estate, Victoria Island, Lagos.

01 448 9444

NOSA: I'll start this by saying I hate Four Points off GP. Hate their security. Hate their no-outlet lobby. Hate Oniru. Hate their waiters too. Hate everything. 

FOLLY: I'm more forgiving than Nosa so I have a love-hate relationship with Four Points. Their security is the goddamn worst though, and the receptionist in the spa is rude af.

NOSA: Now that we've gotten that out the way, we checked out the Four Points brunch last Sunday.

NOSA: Pepper soup is a major brunch buffet key. ALWAYS start with pepper soup to prepare yourself for the inevitable face stuffing that's about to happen. The goat meat pepper soup at Four Points was a solid 6, so not bad at all. Too bad their waiters are terrible and you literally have to beg them to serve you the complimentary Martini Rose you're supposed to get with your meal.

FOLLY: Lowkey nearly died the last time I had pepper soup so I'm going off it for a while. Update the records as I'm now both pepper and lactose intolerant.

NOSA: Anyway, your next move should be the salad. I got a medley of almost everything at the salad section. On the whole, the salads are a bit flat, but the prosciutto was great though.

FOLLY: I decided to go Greek, well with my salad.

I think one of my biggest regrets from my University days is not actually going Greek. Nope, there is no way I would have coped as a Delta or AKA so I would have rushed one of the 'white' ones. I really think I'd have made a perfect TriDelt or AChiO or even a KKG but defs couldn't have been a Theta. Segue aside, I quite enjoyed the Greek salad.

NOSA: wyd, mate?

FOLLY: The hummus was also pretty good but sadly, the bread rivaled Cabin biscuit in hardness. 

NOSA: The pita bread was very stale. VERY.

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FOLLY: Honourable mention to the samosa and spring roll in the starters area. I didn't get a picture but Four Points has all the hands. The spring roll was actually crunchy unlike some people *coughChinaTowncough*.

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NOSA: My favorite thing, by far, was the the pasta bar and the chef manning the joint. Real nice guy.

FOLLY: He was also funny because I asked him not to put pepper in my pasta and he said "ah why, are you not Yoruba?".  I was wearing Iro and Buba but is Yoruba stamped on my forehead?

NOSA: I got me  farfalle + Cream + tomato sauce + seafood mix + pepper + bacon + ham. A little greedy with the extras, you see. The mix was excellent if I do say so. Well, I kinda made it so it had to be excellent. 

FOLLY: While I got myself a meat medley. The ground beef + bacon + ham + mushrooms (I think). My mix was also excellent, probably more excellent than Nosa's was.

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The chef poured all the rodo (pepper) that I didn't allow him to put in mine in Nosa's pasta so his pasta was spicier than mine. Mine had loads of garlic and parsley - authentic stuffs.   

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FOLLY: I went to get dessert for both of us only to return with that loaded plate and for Nosa to say he's full. As in how do you get full from pepper soup + salad + pasta? He's clearly not a buffet champion.

NOSA: The dessert looked like shit tbh.

FOLLY: As with most buffet places, the dessert was a bit disappointing. I wish they put the apple crumble in a warm dish cause cold apple crumble is no bueno. The tiramisu was really good. Don't take my word for it though, Nosa is the real tiramisu champion in this duo. 

POSTSCRIPT

NOSA: The buffet wasn't bad, but I'm back to boycotting Four Points. I still hate the place. 

FOLLY: If they start giving more than one glass of champagne with the buffet, Four Points could be my new wave. Especially since unlike Southern Sun, at Four Points you're not going to run into your uncle, your boss, and your ex's family. 

VERDICT

DAMAGE

Lunch Buffet - N7500

Lagos Finally Gets a Hard Rock Cafe

Hard Rock Cafe

The Landmark Village, Water Corporation Road, Victoria Island, Lagos

0908 198 8888

FOLLY: I don't know how Nosa gets his new restaurant alert but he's always on top of this shit. 

NOSA: A guy at the gym actually told me they were officially open. He had gone for dinner on opening night and couldn't stop talking about how massive the place was. The place is really goddamn huge. 

FOLLY: I wonder if this was his first time at this Hard Rock cause in Nosa's prime he lost his sushi virginity with two different babes two days apart and each one thought it was his first time. 

NOSA: I peaked really early. Such a shame. 

I'm really happy Lagos got a Hard Rock because maybe the people at Popeye's will finally give us a chance. I mean, there's a Popeye's in Turkey FFS. I know for a fact that Nigerians like chicken more than Turkish people. We deserve a Popeye's!

Anyway though, we got onion rings, mac n' cheese, a burger, and fajitas. Yeah, we really pigged out.

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FOLLY: The food at Hard Rock did not match the price. but not in an RSVP way. I think RSVP can justify theirs cause it's a fancy restaurant and supposedly use premium ingredients and make everything from scratch but Hard Rock idk man. 

NOSA: It's a chain restaurant and with chain restaurants, you expect chain things. The onion rings, for instance, were decent. Not great, but decent. They might be the best onion rings you'll find in Lagos because there's a dearth of onion rings in Lagos, but in the grand scheme of onion ring things, these are a bit average. 

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The Fiesta Burger was more or less the same story. Now, the bun was absolutely fantastic and they made my patty medium like I asked, but it wasn't an excellent burger on the whole.

Unlike the onion rings, I've actually had better in Lagos. They gave me what I asked for but the meh-ness of it all couldn't be overcome. 

FOLLY: The Twisted Mac n Cheese was my absolute favourite thing, shame I couldn't eat it all. The crispy topping really made it come alive and then there was chicken in it too. Oh God, I'm still so sad I couldn't it all cause my digestive system is scraps.

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NOSA: Now, this one I'll cosign. The mac n' cheese was bloody excellent. Now, that Folly has left me alone in Lagos for the holidays, I'm going back to the Hard Rock to give them the mac n' cheese again. There's one with grilled chicken in it too. We move!

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FOLLY: I forgot to take a picture of my mojito but it was delicious. The best part was that the leaves weren't muddled too much so it wasn't like I was drinking ewedu. 

Okay, so our waiter Kalvin decided he was American or maybe he was cause there are several foreigners at the restaurant  training and supervising the local team.

NOSA: I think whenever a new Hard Rock opens, they send a bunch of waiters from HQ to ease the launch process. Smart move. 

FOLLY: Anyway, Kalvin's accent was really really good, unlike the guacamole. It wasn't even like a Nollywood accent he actually got that accent down pat. 

Shame Kalvin forgot to place my order for Chicken Fajitas till Nosa had finished eating. He didn't even know he had forgotten till he came around to ask if everything was okay. 

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FOLLY: The chicken was okay but the guacamole was terrible. Yes, I've said that before but I'm just repeating myself for emphasis.

NOSA: Now that I think about it, I think it was the guac that threw my burger off. You know when you make guac and you leave it out for a bit too long? Like, it turns dark green and just becomes gross? Yeah, that's what this guac was.

FOLLY: Our starter portions were pretty big and I had eaten a lot of Nosa's fries while I was waiting for my food so I ended up not eating a lot of my own food. 

POSTSCRIPT 

FOLLY: The portions at Hard Rock are what you would be expect from an American restaurant- LARGE. Nigerians will like that for sure.  

NOSA: On the whole, the food was meh but I think a lot of people will come here more for the space than the food. They're getting a pool and the manager told us they'll be having karaoke, which will probs be awesome because Shaunz Bar is so tiny. Hard Rock is perfect for office parties and whatnot. The Tupelo chicken tenders are awesome btw. Got them yesterday.

VERDICT

DAMAGE

Onion Rings - N1500

Twisted Mac n' Cheese - N1500

Fiesta Burger - N3333

Chicken Fajita - N4000