We Found Japanese Gyū-don in Lagos

 

NOSA: A couple of weeks ago, while driving down that street, I noticed someone had moved into Cafe Jade’s old space. I wonder why Cafe Jade moved out. I’m guessing it has a lot to do with the state of the building. The entire complex looks like a hurricane ran through it.

FOLLY: I need to stop letting Nosa lead me astray with all these his discoveries.

NOSA: It took us two tries to get this review done. The first time, well, we tweeted about it…

NOSA: I won’t put it all on the waiter because he came off like a man very much constrained by the system conditions.

FOLLY: He's a chubby dude with good intentions and a can-do attitude. He also doesn't wear a uniform and looked rather sweaty because they don't put on the gen when guests are not around.

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NOSA: The second time, we were a bit more successful. The menu is a simple ten-item thing. Very straight to the point. It felt really authentic in that regard. The waiter said the spot is often frequented by real Japanese people so I guess that’s a tacit vouching for its authenticity.

FOLLY: I was certain we were the first ever guests to visit this place given our 1-hour place wait for food, so I asked him "do guests come here". He said yes that both Japanese and Nigerian guests visit but from 7pm onwards. 

NOSA: We ordered the Yakigyu Don and the Chicken Tempura Don. According to the internet,

Gyūdon (牛丼), literally beef bowl, is a Japanese dish consisting of a bowl of rice topped with beef and onion simmered in a mildly sweet sauce flavored with dashi (fish and seaweed stock), soy sauce and mirin (sweet rice wine).
— Wikipedia

NOSA: I couldn’t find anything on the internet alluding to the fact that it might take one hour for your food to come out because that’s what happened to us. I guess that’s a Nigerian take on it.

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NOSA: As for the food, it’s not worth the money. Not even close.

FOLLY: I just wanted to yell "FUNKE!" when we received the bill of N15k plus. I know my father was going to be disappointed in me if he ever heard this. 

NOSA: I’ve been through three pages of Gyudon pictures on google to be sure I wasn’t being harsh. And no, I am not. The beef in our bowl was scanty and the rice was basically ofada. Dry rice and beef? Nah, mate. This can’t be what the Japanese eat.

FOLLY: The rice was literally round little rice balls like Ofada. 

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NOSA: The sweet potato in the tempura plate was actually pretty good. Same thing with the chicken, but on the whole, this thing is not for me. Maybe I just don’t have the palate for it. I wasn’t looking for stew or anything, but I expected a lot more.

FOLLY: Yes, the fried chicken and sweet potato were decent but they arrived cold and cost N4500/N5500 for that tiny portion. Apostle must hear of this!

 

POSTSCRIPT

NOSA: According to the internet, this is a Japanese fast food thing for the most part so the prices listed are unbelievable.

FOLLY: I'm upset at the amount of money we wasted. 

VERDICT

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DAMAGE

Karage - N4700

Yuki Gyu Don - N5500

Chicken Tempura Don - N4500

 

PARKING

Shambles