The Weird-looking Things that People Eat
It’s been raining a lot in Lagos these few past weeks, which should come as no surprise because we’re in the rainy season. It didn’t rain on this day, it was a good day. The sun was shining and I was scrolling through Twitter, laughing at memes and videos when I saw something that almost made me drop my phone in horror and disgust.
I didn’t because I’m a hard guy and deeply curious, I watched the whole thing and didn’t stop there. I opened Google went digging. I couldn’t describe the video even if I wanted you, you have to see it for yourself. Brace yourself, or feast your eyes, it all depends on what rocks your boat.
So yeah, my morbid curiosity led me to ever-faithful Google, the thing that young lady was consuming in the video is called a ‘geoduck’ pronounced gooey duck. Geoduck is a variety of clams that are not ridiculously expensive but are 100% disgusting. I don’t get it but people really are out here ingesting some really weird items. There are levels to this; ranging from mildly disgusting like the case of squid-ink pasta, and then there’s geoduck level which is straight-up foul.
That said, here’s a list of the strangest looking things that I recently found out that people eat:
From the Australian witchety grub to the African stink bug to the Mexican tequila worm, insects, larvae, and worms are some of the most disgusting things people eat all around the world. Forget that article where I was talking about saving the planet by infusing bugs into our diets. It’s gross, and when I want to help save the planet, I recycle. This is only number 10 on the scale because believe me, there are worse things that people put in their mouths.
9. Frog legs
Imagine being served a plate of food and the contents start to twitch. Rigor mortis doesn't set in quite as quickly as it does with chicken, the heat from cooking could cause the frog legs to twitch. I don’t even want to think about who discovered that frog legs taste like chicken or why such a discovery was made.
8. Tuna eyeballs
Forgive me, but I find fish eyes quite delicious, but only when they are fried to a crisp. Tuna eyes, a Japanese dish are gelatinous in nature. Imagine rheumy, golf ball-sized eyes staring up at you from your plate of food. It hits an 8 on the foul scale.
An Alaskan special, stink heads refers to fermented salmon head that is eaten in a putty-ish mash. Sounds gross? Yes, it looks even worse.
This is one thing on this list that made me completely regret researching this topic. I stared in horror for a solid minute at the fact that people in East Asia eat cats. Why would anybody eat the adorable creatures that are cats? My heart hurt. I would eat glass, walk barefoot on hot coals, stick pins in my eyes and eat a denim jacket before I EVER eat a cat.
Apparently, this is a delicacy in Asia, Australia, and Africa. All I can say is eww while trying not to throw up my guts. If you doubt me, google it...or maybe don’t.
If you ever had a doubt in your mind about the utter depravity of human beings, this should clear up all of those. Balut pronounced BAH-loot is a popular street food eaten in the Philippines, and it is basically a developing duck embryo boiled alive in its own shell. My goodness.
3. Century Egg
A Chinese dish, the century egg also known as the thousand-year egg, or 100- year egg is basically made by preserving chicken, duck or quail eggs with a mixture of clay, ash, salt, quicklime, and rice hull for several weeks to months. Due to the process, the egg yolk becomes a dark green color while the egg white becomes a dark brown. It sounds repulsive and it looks even worse. It is by design that this article has no picture, Google it if you're brave enough.
2. Bat Paste
Bat paste is prepared by boiling bats slowly and alive, in a broth of herbs and spices. I know bats can be pretty scary and gross-looking but this is exhibit 100 of how humans beings are just plain evil. Apart from the fact that it’s beyond disgusting, it could also be fatal because bats carry lethal diseases. Do not recommend. 2/10.
1. Cobra heart
I’m all for killing and utterly annihilating snakes but downing their still-beating hearts and blood? That’s a little, no scratch that- a lot too much for me. In Vietnam, cobra heart is apparently a ‘culinary delight’, and it has been discovered to improve virility in men. I do not even want to know who made such a discovery and why. Wait, no I actually want to know why. I’d really like to know. So the cobra’s heart is cut out while it’s still alive, dropped into a mixture of rice wine and the snake’s blood. Other horrifying events come after this but I will stop here. This breaks the scale completely. I will not be trying this. Ever.
If you think about it deeply enough, amala should actually be a part of this list because look at it: it’s black, looks like doo-doo and we eat it with green and yellow slimy soups.
I’ll make a pass though because it’s delicious and anyone who doesn’t think so does not deserve good things. I almost regret reading up on this, but I don’t because it’s useful to have such information.