It's All Farm to Table at Simply Green Cafe

 

NOSA: During our Lunch club at Workstation, Folly mentioned that the space we used would be turning into a Cafe. Secretly, I hoped it would Cafe Neo because a coffee shop in a co-working space is a no-brainer. Also, I have a little soft spot for Neo so…yeah.

FOLLY: I obviously didn't think about it as deep as Nosa did.

NOSA: Might have been a liiiitle bit disappointed when it turned out Simply Green was taking the space. I didn’t even mind Nuts About Cakes, but Jesus, Simply Green? You can only juice for so long. My feelings were unfounded, thankfully. Since backward integrating their Supply Chain, Simply Green now has access to a big ass farm. Turns out you can grow things like kale and other cost-an-arm-and-leg vegetables when you own a big ass farm and can do things at your own convenience.

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NOSA: Folly and I decided to try the sandwiches at Simply Green Cafe on the day. I’ve been through a bag of their kale in the last week so I know the salads are definitely good. The sandwiches, however, are a bit of an unknown quantity and your boy was very interested in finding out.

FOLLY: I, too, was pretty excited but sadly everything was just so meh so I got disappointed. It also didn't help that the cafe is staffed by two incredibly slow gentlemen.

NOSA: It’s a bit hard to tell the chicken and pork apart. If you really inspect, you probably can. But if you aren’t really paying attention, it will definitely elude you. The greens are as fresh as you’d expect from a cafe that sources its produce from a big ass farm

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FOLLY: They made the exact same sandwich with yogurt dressing: one with pork and one with chicken. In spite of the fact that the menu actually defined the fillings differently. It also had way more vegetables than pork or chicken. 

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NOSA: One of my biggest knocks on Cafe Neo is how garbage those sandwiches are. In fact, the “pastries” as a whole. There’s such a big opportunity in that area, that I can’t believe they’ve left it open for so long. Surely someone is going to figure out the key differentiator in this Cafe business really isn’t the coffee or tea. We aren’t really connoisseurs like that. I can’t tell Nigerian and Kenyan coffee apart. What I can tell, though, is if a sandwich served tastes like armpit hair. I, for sure, can tell you that.

That said, Simply Green Cafe had a good enough sandwich, but like Neo, it tends to the meh side.

FOLLY: I think the sandwich was worse than meh. I didn't enjoy it at all

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NOSA: The cake slice we ordered was also a letdown, but that’s not something judge Simply Green by anyway. The side salad, for instance, was fantastic.

FOLLY: The cake was okay but as Nosa mentioned we can't really judge them on it as it probably didn't come from their kitchen. I actually thought the side salad was overdressed. 

 

POSTSCRIPT

NOSA: I was still hungry. And it’s weird how they don’t give out receipts.

FOLLY: I didn't enjoy it. 

VERDICT

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DAMAGE

Cake (Slice) - N500

Chicken Sandwich - N1800

Pulled Pork Sandwich - N2000

 

PARKING

Terrible, it will frustrate you. A metal thing pulled Nosa's bumper off, in fact